Lonely Hearts
by browne1
Summary: Clarice sets out to save Dr. Lecter form Verger's hands


It was raining not too heavily but enough to chill one's skin and drench a jacket. In the semidarkness of a seemingly serene countryside, someone quickly but cautiously made his way towards dimly lit building of a long, abandoned barn. Young women of about thirty years of age could have easily be taken for a strayed person, lost in that desolate area, had it not been for her carefully measured steps, which finally brought her closer to a barn's walls. Hoisting her gun she managed to find a small peering-hole, not too big crack between half rotten boards provided nice vintage point, through which she might easily assess what was going on. There were two men inside bustling about the place, making some hasty preparations, for what exactly it was hard to say.

As she was trying to make out what these two thugs were exactly up to, an awful, ear piercing shriek cut through her senses and interrupted her silent observations. Darting her eyes around she tried in vain to identify what had produced them, there was however nothing even remotely resembling any living creature that might emit them, but then further inspection of the place revealed, in the far corner of the chamber, a presence of something that definitely caught her eye and held her still - an ordinary looking cd player seemed to be completely out of place until one of the men bent over it and the hellish screaming came to a sudden stop.

Again there was only a silence broken by the occasional grunts and commands exchanged in a language that sounded like Italian. Even not being able to take in the meaning of words, it was apparent that these two did not find themselves here by an accident, and their evil intentions, whoever they concerned were plain as a day. She pondered what to do next when her prickled ears registered some shuffling, that a moment later revealed a third man. She heard him before she saw him, loudly shouted commands sounded like instructions and indicated that this third was undoubtedly in command of the whole operation.

Her gut feelings urged her to withdraw unnoticed, after all she had no back up, no chance to enlist any assistance, no means of communication whatsoever. It was not wise to put entire her life on a line, considering that she was one, they three, besides there was no solid proof of any intended crime and as she was almost on the point of leaving the most unexpected turn of events unfolded that stopped her dead in tracks. Ruffians brought somebody, who was securely tied and gagged and though she could not rightly see his face, she had a tingling sensation who that person might be, she still might have had some lingering doubts in her mind but then they turned him around and the stream of a dazzling light hit and illuminated his face. It was him of all the people it had to be him, her breath hitched in a throat and for a moment or two she found it hard to get a grip on herself, cold sweat mingled with rain and was now dripping down her face and neck, every breath was coming in short irregular pant. How did he land in this predicament? She asked herself, while the wheels in her brain were virtually whirling, trying to come up with the idea how to act.

She was aware of one thing though, to turn on her heel and stroll back to a car , waiting for her at the end of the field road was simply out of question. Lecter was certainly guilty, of that she was absolutely sure, even these villains would not keep him here if he was innocent, what is more they seemed to be perfectly aware with whom they were dealing, whence the security measures and the choice of a relatively secluded place where practically no one could disrupt their plans.

It was clear that she needed to act then and there, as the men were quickly progressing with their preparations. Her plan was hazy, not well thought out, and on a closer inspection having very little chance of success, however she did not have ample amount of time to think and reflect upon its flaws. Once again hoisting her gun, she approached main gate moving stealthily along a narrow corridor, she came closer to a heavy doors that stood slightly ajar; the stream of light was flowing from within casting long shadows.

She took one deep breath to compose herself, forcibly kicked open the front doors and found herself swept into action. Initially her eyes squinted in a reflexive response to brightness of this place, so strong that it almost hurt but she gathered her wits in not time and the rest next actions followed as though she was operating in full automatic mode

_Freeze, put your hands up, down on your knees…_ she yelled commands instilled in her mind ever since she entered academy, now they were easily rolling off her tongue, though she could feel slight tremor coursing through her body. The men were stunned, standing motionless, and gaping in surprise, it did not last long however. One of them raised his hand to reach into his pocket when she fired her colt, one shot then the next, third attempt at pulling the trigger was impeded by a heavy blow that met her head from behind – It sent her on the floor, and the last thing her half conscious mind registered was the odor of pig farm then everything went black.

She regained her consciousness in a damp, small cell, stone floor on which she was lying for only God knows how long, made her scramble to her feet, her head was aching like hell, pulsating and throbbing, at first moment red haze over her eyes was so thick that she could barely make out any shapes around. Her hand instinctively went to an offended area; it came back moist and sticky – blood, the sight of red stains on her fingers effectively brought her back to her senses and fueled already soaring rage. Grimy chamber, she was in, did not have any windows, except for a small barred opening, one or two feet below the ceiling, she guessed that the whole cell was probably sunk below the ground level, as there was virtually nothing visible behind rusty bars, further scanning of the room revealed no particulars but then her scattered attention was inadvertently drawn to seemingly inconspicuous red light, incessantly blinking like an alarm diode – What is it for? She asked herself, starring at the regular pulsating of the tiny light that seemed to intensify her throbbing even more if that was possible at all. She tried to reach for it, when all of a sudden the doors flung open. In the doorway appeared a man, she had never seen before of that she was absolutely sure , he was small, almost bald, for a brief moment his narrow rat –eyes darted around the room as if they were looking for something that was invisible to her eyes. When his gaze finally landed on hers she looked dagger at him, however before she managed to open her mouth and give him piece of her mind (still not working at its normal pace) the man yelled –_Get it that lecter is mine and I will do with him what I want, no one on earth will stop me, even you _

_-Who are you?_ She asked genuinely puzzled, ignoring what this unknown to her man just communicated –_ Do I know you?_

_None of your business – _he barked off _as I said he is mine and…_

_Yes..Yes.. I know but perhaps you should be aware of one thing, in this country there is no place for administrating justice by oneself _she broke in and applauded herself for the speed of her reaction, given the circumstances.

_Bullshit, I do not care if it right or wrong, we had old business to settle, and there is no place in it for you._

_Then what I'm doing here?_! _Are you going to keep me as hostage here?_ – She asked in a pretentious tone of voice

_Do not worry I'll deal with Lecter, then you turn will come _

_How generous of you, to let me enjoy my earthly existence for a few minutes longer_

_No, No I don't plan for you forever kind of thing, final solution might cause to much trouble and noise, but you understand that I cannot let you go freely, as though nothing happened_

_As I understand that you will end up behind the bars – _She snapped, finding it difficult to keep her temper in check

This time the man did not bother with any answer, he only chuckled darkly, malicious smile was ominously playing on his lips and in an instant she started to feel somewhat uneasy. It was clear that for now he was in control and her options were somewhat limited. Things did not look well; in fact they have taken a rather bad turn, seeing that realization of these simple facts finally washed over her face, a bastard assumed bemused expression, with a smug smile he reached for her chin, giving her long, assessing look, she snapped his hand away without thinking when he said

_You came all the way here, risk your life, initiated something that looks to me like an illegal operation, only with one thing in mind… maybe Tattler was right after all_

His words stung like a knife, even more acutely than the blow she had sustained, though it did not show on her face

_Only complete idiots believe in tabloids, and all this crap_ – she quipped

_Maybe yes… maybe not…_ he mused thoughtfully _what about checking who was right?_

_Checking what? _She asked genuinely baffled, while it was pretty obvious what he had meant by making the reference to tabloids stories, it was not so easy to guess, what he meant by 'checking'.

_It's easy really_ he answered in a condescending tone, _it is going to be funny to see how much time will have to pass before you are going to be reduced to tabloids stories. _With these words he gestured towards red light.

_You are even more deranged than Lecter himself _

_So they say Agent Starling _That was the last thing she heard, before the door snapped close again, heavy footsteps resounding of the stone walls were the only proof that this surreal situation was in fact really happening.

Another hour passed or so, and there was not a sound, only gloomy semi darkness, broken by the occasional blinking of the red light. It was driving her crazy and when she found herself almost over the edge of human endurance, her ears picked up some shuffling, at first she thought it to be a figment of her imagination but then the sound became more pronounced and now could easily be heard in the distance, approaching, and then ceasing at her doors. The heavy metal bolts scratched again, heaved open and she saw in the doorways two thugs she remembered all too well from the barn, they were half carrying half dragging somebody, the man was tightly tied with ropes, all his movements were totally restrained, making it impossible to counteract the impact of push with which thugs sent him reeling on the floor.

The doors closed again with a heavy scrape of the bolts, now she could take fully in the man, scrabbling to his feet. If she had any lingering doubts in her mind as to his identity a moment before right now they were all dispelled. For a brief moment she was not sure whether to believe her eyes or not, long years of looking for him, and unsuccessful chasing came to a sudden end, though she imagined coming face to face with him in somewhat different circumstances and obviously in a different setting.

_Good evening Clarice_ his deep metallic rasp, drew her from her reverie and cut through her senses, she glanced at him and experienced sort of a throwback to the times of their first meeting, down in a dungeon. It was absurd that this time they also met in a dungeon, though now there was no glass, no bars…

Basically he looked the same, icy blue eyes, incisive, all-seeing, were passive and unreadable, as if everything around did not really concern him, but she also noticed one or two things that she did not remember, ones that only freedom might grant him. There were bright sparks dancing in his cold, slightly bemused stare, the voice mellifluous, golden toned was even more penetrating than ever. She was not able to stand his unmoving gaze any longer and dropped her eyes, only to berate herself a moment later for such a display of embarrassment. Meanwhile doctor Lecter continued his silent contemplations and then chimed in

_I'd wish to tell you Clarice, you look well, unfortunately you do not _

_I wonder why dr Lecter_ – her voice was practically dripping with sarcasm

_Surely not I'm not to blame Agent Starling_ he drawled mockingly

_No Not at all doctor,_ this time her anger was boiling up, she could hardly contain the pure rage, coursing through her veins. Her normally composed voice almost trembled, likewise her hands, they itched to go for him and wipe the smile off his face, but what seemed to aggravate her even more was his relaxed posture, the bastard was standing right in front of her, smiling his most infuriating smile, one that that never quite reach his eyes, full of feral malice. So this is what others probably saw just before their death – small voice inside of her head whispered and brought home realization with whom exactly she was dealing. Although she knew that he would probably never bring himself to hurt her, it was not wise to allow her anger take over and test his stamina. Meanwhile while she tried to pull herself together doctor examined her carefully, he could almost see the battle she was waging with herself not to attack him, on one hand it amused him beyond measure that even in such a precarious moment his girl did not lose her innate aggression, on the other he saw that she was tired, emotionally exhausted and hurt…/

Until now in a semi darkness of the room that last thing went unnoticed, but now he noticed large red bruise, stretching along her right temple. It was apparent that she had sustained heavy blow to her head, while trying to disrupt grim plans of Verger's operation.

In an instant his eyes softened, likewise his voice, his normal ever present mocking was gone

_You are hurt Clarice_

_It's nothing I'll be fine, do not worry about me_ – she dismissed him quickly, instinctively raising her hand to the injured area. He did not listen though, but minutely eyed her bruise, there was a cut not to deep, inch long but he also noticed slight swelling forming above her temple, that did not look well to his eyes.

_You should allow me to have a look at it; head injury can have serious consequences _

_I told you I'll be fine doctor – _she retorted angrily

_Bear in mind my dear that it is not up to you to decide whether it is nothing or not, I'd also appreciate if you dropped that childish persistent attitude and stubborn intent to rebuff everything I say. It has no use here and no, so be kind enough to save it for later._

She could say by mere looking at him that he was slightly irritated, her rage was gradually giving way to overwhelming felling of frustration and fatigue and she did not feel like fighting any longer, besides in a way he was right, though she would never admit it openly. They were both caged here, with no means of escape; her emotions did not serve any useful purpose, except making her headache even more prominent. Her head was throbbing, pulsating like a ticking bomb that was about to blow up any moment.

Without any words but a single nod of her head she indicated he might come over, doctor closed a distance and his hands went to her head. She prepared herself for some pain, often coming from medical examinations, but discovered to her utter surprise that he was so delicate that she could barely feel his touch at all. His finger moved lightly across her skull, repeatedly returning to an injured area. At once moment he pressed his flat palm more firmly and asked _any pain Clarice_ – he asked in a business-like manner of a completely detached clinical doctor

_No nothing just a blunt pressure_

_Everything seems O.K, though it needs cleaning, cold compress and some dressing, unfortunately I'm not able to provide you with it all here_

_I told you that everything is all right_

_One can never be sure with injury such as yours, besides now I know there is no need to be worried, at least not about it._

_And since when are you anxious about me – _she snapped

_Do you have any reasons to believe that I'm not _he quipped, raising elegantly and charmingly one of his eyebrows.

She frowned at him_ if we take as a proof of your good will the very fact that I'm still alive, and that you have not killed me yet, then you're right by all mean doctor_

_All that sarcasm may tarnish your shining armour Agent Starling and it doesn't suit you at all._

_Surely it is not up to you to decide what is becoming or not for me doctor – _she answered back

_There is no need to be so much on defensive Clarice – _he said soothingly and condescendingly but then carried on _do not you think we have more important things on our hands right now_

_Ours?!_ There was a clear question mark in her voice

_Am I to assume Clarice that you are enjoying your current lodgings; personally I would love nothing more than being in your company; however I'd enjoy it more in a nicer setting._

His tone held slightly suggestive edge; she looked at him disbelievingly, that even in such a moment he could not refrain from teasing and playing with her, however she decided to chime in _Yes dr Lecter I have been dreaming about being kept hostage with you in that lovely place_

Without missing a beat he continued

_I knew that sooner or later I will elicit that admission from you, am I making too big assumption by believing that you'll follow me, as we somehow get out of here_

She gave him 'very funny' look and quite seriously added _Of course I'll follow…._ But then stopped in a half sentence, biting her tongue as she realized that her 'follow' had nothing to do with his 'follow'.

Doctor's mouth only twitched up in a small half smile. After all he was brilliant at word plays, mind games, twisting words in such a way as to suit only known to him purpose, verbal sparring with him has always been fascinating, exhilarating and refreshing though she was reluctant to admit it even to herself. But now they had more important things at hand. They needed plan, a good plan

She glanced at him, the sparks in his eyes slowly subsided and she could see that he was giving thought to a probably the same thing that she did

_Doctor we need a plan…._

_What a nice observation Clarice I wondered how long will it take before you arrive to the first reasonable solution?_

_Thank you doctor _she sneered

_You are welcome, as always – _he answered nodding courtly

_O.K we are done with pleasantries let's get round to working out a plan, first we can recap what we know about these bastards. _

_What do you want to know Clarice? _He askedthis time without mocking

_Do you know them doctor?_

_Of course I do, it's Verger and his childish plan to punish and eventually kill me_

_For what?_ She blurted out instinctively and when Lecter gave her a look 'do not ask' she realized that her question was absurd. She did not know Verger but she was absolutely certain of one thing, no matter what, he had a motif and Lecter was surely not a blameless and innocent lamb.

_Stupid question, force of habit, sorry,_ and by the way of changing subject asked him _I think they are speaking in Italian, why?_

_Verger is Italian so are his thugs_

_They were also rambling something about tabloids stories, closing us together, checking…, did they mention anything of that sort to you?_

_Not much but enough to get rough idea_

_What does this idea involve?_

'_You' of course Clarice. _She looked at him stupefied as though she could not really make out what he meant.

_What does it mean 'You' _

_Clarice that's quite simple, they want to have a moment of fun before they finish me off, unfortunately fun at your expanse_

She was staring blankly at him, as though she couldn't hear him properly or did not understand his words, seeing her reaction doctor went on

_If you want I can help you to read between the lines but be prepared that it is not something you are going to like_

Then doctor stopped for a while, he noticed that she turned white like a sheet, her forehead creased up, and she cringed inwardly as though to hide within invisible shell, to avoid another blow.

_As it comes to their expectation for me, they want me to make some advances towards you, so that they can be proved right that ill-famed tabloid stories hold some element of truth and credibility_

_And why is it so important for them?_ She asked in a voice that came as a barely audible whisper

_Verger is even more unstable, than one might assume, he suffers from typical symptoms of depression, narcissistic personality disorders which include mood swings, uncontrollable fits of anger, taking pleasure in others pain and anguish and so on, but I'd say that our host had not chosen the worst means to have a few minutes of fun, in fact I expected something far more worse_

Clarice was at a loss for words; despite the fact that doctor provided ample answer to her questions it was still unclear what was her role in the whole scenario, how she was supposed to act. All these questions thumbed in her head, he could almost see the wheels turning in her brain, her turmoil, confusion, anguish, fatigue…

_But what I am about to do?_ She choked out the questions

_To be frank Clarice there are two options you are either to rebuff my romantic intentions or welcome them_

Before words came out of her mouth her eyes conveyed utter disbelief mingled with shock and surprise _you must have gone out of your mind to suggest such a thing, to even think about it, I'm not going to take any part in such a deranged plans, never… ever forget about it, forget…_

_Clarice let me remind you, that as enjoyable it is on my part, I'm not however the one to blame, at least not this time. I only laid down before you what Verger intentions are nothing else, for the time being we are both imprisoned and as strange as it may sound our goals are parallel even if you are unwilling to admit it we must act together to get out of here alive._

_Does that mean that I'm about to play happy lovers with Doctor Hannibal Lecter_? She asked incredulouslyas if she did not believe her own voice, but there was also tangible note of her pretense in her tone

_No Clarice I would not put it so bluntly, what we need in fact is to attract their attention for a couple of minutes and then make Verger come here._

_Why do you think that he is going to visit us after we… _her voice hitched in her throat

_I simply know him Clarice he will never ever allow me to enjoy you in full extent, after all he wants to kill me, and not to create sweet heaven from my wildest dreams_

At this very moment she blushed hot and fell silent, her reactions to him were simply frightening, as she could not find for them any logical explanation. She rarely felt off balance but in the presence of this man she experienced that feeling decidedly too often, practically every time they met. Doctor reveled in her reactions for a brief moment then continued

_I'm aware Clarice that you may feel slightly uneasy, but if you have any alternative plans we can always discuss it._

Clarice was sitting in a corner, her head propped on her hands, the whole situation was crazy, how had she allowed herself to be involved in it, she reproached herself silently how?!… but it was pointless to dwell on her faults, right now they needed to act, needed to have a plan.

Doctor had mentioned something about alternative plans, but she could not possibly come up with any suitable idea, anything at all. She put it all down to her headache.

A few minutes had passed in a silence before she managed to gather enough strength and pull herself together, only then she raised her head, look him straight in his eyes and with renowned energy asked _what are we going to do then?_

_You will play along I'm going to take the care of the rest_

_I need to know the details of that rest_

He could say that she was a bit uneasy or even apprehensive, therefore not to prolong her discomfort any longer he gladly explained

_We are going to set a nice, brief romantic tableau, like in a theatre, a little bit of playing, and pretending, nothing else; believe me there is nothing to be nervous about or be afraid of_

_I'm not afraid; it just makes me feel uncomfortable that's all_

_That is quite understandable Clarice, therefore I promise not to put on you too much strain_

_What are you going to do doctor? _She asked not being able to guess what all that pretending will involve in details.

_I assure you that, throughout it, you and I stay fully clothed, no kissing, no groping, nothing that you might find too intimate; I hope that you do not take me for a crude individual, unconcerned with woman feelings. I know how much it costs you and I'll do only what is absolutely necessary._

She looked at him helplessly; her eyes full of anguish showed her distress more effectively than any words could express it. For the first time she regarded him in a different light, in that very moment they were equals, as they wanted exactly the same – to escape and stay alive.

_Clarice you know that you can trust me, I'm epitome of self control, and there is not anything that can happen against your will_

_No it is not that, I know I can trust you doctor, you are perhaps the only man in this world I can trust in terms of that _slip of tongue but it was too late to take it back _it makes me feel uncomfortable that is all_

_I will reduce my actions to minimum to lessen your discomfort, besides it won't last long, of that I'm absolutely sure._

_When are we going to start?_ She could not avoid asking this question

_Only when you are ready_

She took one deep breath to compose herself and nodded giving him wordless sign that the sooner they get over it the better; doctor made a brief eye contact and ever so slowly as not to frighten her started closing the distance. Eventually they were two millimeters apart, her heart pounded furiously as if it was going to jump out of her chest, her breath started coming in short irregular pants. Get hold of yourself she admonished herself for all those involuntary responses, doctor being aware of her nervousness that bordered on torture stopped, now he was standing stock still, giving her a time and space to collect herself.

He was aware that it cost her very much to allow him to be that close, but her strong reaction to his physical closeness gave him also some insights into her deeply shrouded, impenetrable soul.

He did not break eye contact even for a moment, their gazes locked and held. However his piercing, icy blue eyes now looked different they were warm, kind and so comforting, ever present feral gleam was absent, and there was nothing even remotely resembling doctor she knew from the files and newspapers. As she marveled at his uncanny ability to change almost at will, she felt him lower his head to her temple, his hands travelled up her arms and delicately pulled her towards him, in an instant he felt her stiffen like a rod, she was tense and uneasy. Doctor was aware that if their scene would come across unnaturally and awkwardly, it might seriously impede their plans of escape, so he shifted his weight and pressing her tightly to his chest as a father would do with a frightened child, whispered into her ear _Clarice …. Relax; we must look natural, try to put your hand on my shoulder_ she did as instructed, barely registering her movements, _the other one around my neck. _

Now all she could feel was the heat radiating from his chest, steady beating of his heart, rumbling as he purred his approval into her ear, again her own reactions startled her like nothing else, she was flushed, her breast heaved, her breath ragged. Doctor was nuzzling her behind the ear, even though he was doing it through her hair, and his lips never came in contact with her bare skin, she could feel his breath, hot virtually burning her skin. The tremor was running through her body, and now she was trembling uncontrollably, what made things even worse was the fact that she knew that he had to feel it as well, after all there was nothing that went unnoticed by this man.

She was furious at herself for being so transparent, so plain, so easy but could do very little to control it, then he felt his lips move slowly downwards and in that moment her legs buckled, giving out, had it not been for his strong like a vise hold she would have probably fallen down, but he embraced her even more firmly, lifting inch or two off the ground so that she was practically hanging on him.

Now she seemed to lose control over herself and started slowly melting like a wax, only then he felt her relaxing in his arms, becoming soft and pliant, like warm water, slipping through his fingers. He barely noticed that she shifted her face, nuzzling her soft cheek against his chin but when she bent her head at such an angle that his lips were touching the corner of her mouth he did not dare to move and became motionless. He was still, unmoving like a solid stone; eventually Clarice turned her head seeking out his mouth, and felt him flinch in initial response.

But she pressed her lips chastely and more firmly to his. At first there was no response on his part as if she was touching a piece of cold granite. Doctor with all his might tried to restrain himself, his reservations to kiss her back, and give in to his own passion resulted from his determination to keep his word, and not to break his promise given to her before, that there will be no kissing, but now it was becoming increasingly difficult even to him to keep himself in check and exercise self-control. She was delicious, tasted even better than he had imagined. But what was more important to him was the fact that she was doing it of her own free will; Clarice murmured something against his mouth and now he found that he was not able to deny himself any longer and returned her kiss.

His mouth moved over hers agonizingly slow, taking in her taste, he was careful not to startle her or break a magical moment, a moment he might never experience again. He could say that she had very little experience in that area therefore he refrained from giving in to his own passion, instead trying to entice, tempt, encourage… Clarice felt completely swept off her feet, she felt as if she was drifting on a huge sea, she has never even thought that a kiss can be so sensual, he tasted faintly of fine wine, toothpaste and cigars combination that was heady and addictive, making her feel dizzy and light headed.

All of a sudden the spell was broken, doctor tore his mouth away from hers and grasped her both arms strongly so that to draw her attention and make her listen

_Clarice listen to me now I will stand on the side of the doors when the door will open do not move, can you hear me – _He asked not being sure if she followed him. Her eyes were still hazy, foggy as if she was waking up from some delicious dream. _Yes, yes I understand _she answered distractedly, but could barely make out what he wanted to do.

Seeing her dreamy eyes, still clouded and hazy from their recent exchange, he could not help himself but wink and threw a flippant suggestive comment

_I have to admit my dear you were pretty much convincing I cannot help but wonder what would happen if we were not interrupted_

_What? _Clarice asked as though she did not quite comprehend his words, he looked at her narrowly, trying to assess if she was at all aware of what had just transpired between them, but his contemplations were broken by the doors that suddenly flung open, in the doorway appeared Verger himself, his unsteady gaze swept the room quickly in a search of Lecter but before he managed to take in it fully a heavy blow came from the right.

One punch landed perfectly on his nose another on his stomach, the third one send him to the floor. Meanwhile Clarice stood stock still; she stared in shock and disbelief at doctor and could not reconcile these two images. How was it possible that these two were in fact one? Doctor she knew was delicate, subtle, his touch felt so soft like a feather, the one she saw right know was brutal, ruthless, merciless killing machine. Verger was now lying as a motionless bloody pulp on the floor.

_Is he dead doctor Lecter? _He looked at her; his aggression present in his feral gaze was till there

_Clarice it is not time for moral debates now, we must run if we are to survive _with these words he yanked her by the hand and led her out of the chamber. They were running along the narrow corridor until they came to a closed gate, doctor kicked it open and the doors gave way.

Panting and gasping for an air they stopped about two hundred meter away from the barn

_Where is your car Clarice? _He asked between the gasps

_At the end of the road, but where are you going?_ She was also breathless

_Where are WE going Clarice, _he corrected with putting special emphasis on a word WE

_What makes you to think that I'm going with you doctor Lecter _

_Clarice now there is no time for all your tedious questions, while I normally enjoy answering them I think that it is neither time nor the pace for such discussions. I plan to head for my humble abode; there I will dress your injury, then we are going to have some rest and we can talk about everything that is still bothering you._

_Do not patronize me Doctor Lecter _hecould say that she was coming back to her old self asher aggression was returning as though nothing had happened in a barn

_Is that what you think I'm doing, Clarice? Be reasonable if only for once we need a good rest then we can start our old arguments_

_How far is it? _She asked, making no reference to his previous comment and silently accepting his invitation

_About 40 miles along the interstate then I will tell you how to drive_

They walked arm in arm through a grassy field, recent rain and dew soaked wet their boots and trousers. Before they reached the car both of them were cold and shivering. Clarice opened the driver's door, then the passengers. They did not look at each other, did not exchange a single word during their journey. After about hour of a drive she asked him

_Where now?_

_Take turn on the left then follow along the road at the end you will see some buildings_

She did as she was told, indeed at the end of the road there was nice housing estate. White houses covered all over with flowers and ivy, brightly lit by solar lamps looked slightly surreal, as though they belonged to another world.

_It is second on the left _doctor interrupted her musings

She directed her car to a second raw of buildings, and stopped before beautifully wrought iron gate, which was closed, she glanced at him, momentarily doctor left the car, and came over to the gate post, entered some number on a key pad and the gate soundlessly moved open. Clarice drove through it and found herself in a huge garden with tall, slender trees, blooming bushes, wide expanse of lawn. She stopped her car on a drive in a spray of gravel that crunched beneath her wheels. Lecter left the car first and headed for the front door, wooden with heavy golden fittings; he fumbled for a key and without any word let her inside.

The light turned on by itself, now to her eyes appeared long and wide hall which was leading to a salon, there was staircase on the right, but what caught and held her eyes were crystal chandeliers blinking with all sorts of colors.

_Your room is upstairs,_ his voice drew her out of her musings _I will show you, please follow me_

On their way to her room they passed a hall with old beautiful paintings hanging on the walls in heavy golden frames, she wanted to have a closer look at them but doctor was walking briskly giving her no time for taking in surroundings.

_In the morning I'll give you a guided tour_

He could not see that she was admiring his paintings as his back was to her, but somehow managed to guess what she thought about. Was she so transparent? Or maybe his ability to see trough people was so uncanny. She did not have answer to this question as to many others that concerned this man.

Finally they stopped before the door, doctor opened them, and stepped to the side, flicking on the light inside he gave her a gesture with his hand to precede him and step inside.

_I hope Clarice that you will find everything to your likings, on the left there is a bathroom, if you are cold turn on the fire place, it is electrical, unfortunately I cannot offer you any clothes but you can borrow my t-shirts if you like, there are some in a cupboard. Refresh yourself and in the meantime I'll bring my medical bag to dress your injury. _

With these words he was gone, she had almost forgotten about her injury though it was still throbbing unpleasantly, now alone in the room she could take a look around. In the middle there was a huge king size bed with burgundy covers and impossibly soft white pillows, on the floor white fluffy carpet, she felt almost guilty standing on it in her wet and dirty boots. To the left there was a fireplace, white with wrought metal. The whole room looked like a most luxurious apartment that she had only seen in movies. She felt that she did not fit here…

Next steps brought her to a bathroom that literally took her breath away, it was not merely bathroom there was everything in there: shower cabin, huge round tub in the middle, mirrors from top to bottoms. Not for the first time she wondered how much money he had if he could afford such a life.

After a few moments of gaping around she put off her dirty, smelly and wet clothes and stepped inside a shower cabin, shower hand was silver and unusually broad when she turned on the water, it came in powerful warm jets. They were massaging her strained, painful muscles, washing away the pain and dirt. After a few moments she felt so rested and relaxed, that she forgot where and in whose company she was.

It was hard to say how much time she spent under the shower but as she stepped outside all mirrors were covered in a steam, and the temperature in the whole room has gone up a few degrees. She took one huge towel, white, fluffy as everything around and wrapped it around herself. She entered her room trying to comb her wet unruly hair, but then noticed she was not alone, Doctor was standing next to table arranging on it some bottles and medicaments. Though he did not look at her she felt awfully self – conscious, being only in a towel in company of doctor lecter made her feel even more unease than she had felt in a barn. He glanced at him and noticed that he had also changed, now he was wearing blindingly white shirt, open necked, his sleeves rolled up revealed muscular tanned forearms, grey slacks and boots completed rest of the picture

_No need to bother with embarrassment, Clarice really_

How did he know what she was thinking? without even looking at her. She had to admit that it was really disconcerting and unnerving to be in his company, she felt like an open book, maybe she so clear or maybe he so good at reading people's mind she could not sayit.

Now he glanced at her, his eyes did not linger on her frame even for a moment, did not go over her body, he was all business again, image of complete clinical detachment

_Sit here_ he pointed to the counter _I need to have a good light_

She scrambled on the counter, now she was a bit higher than he was. Doctor came over, took her head in hands, and moved lightly his palm along her skull, as if he was looking something. Then reached for a swab and a small bottle, he shook it vigorously and poured some liquid on it. When he pressed it to her hurt temple it felt cold but it was also stinging, she squirmed involuntary

_Do not move Clarice, we need to clean it to avoid infection; I do not think you will need any stitches, but I'll put light dressing on it. Take these also…_

On the palm of his hand there were two yellow pills

_What is it_ _doctor _– she asked looking at them

_Antibiotics, poisoning is not really my style after all these years you should know about it_

She took it obediently and washed them over with proffered glass of water, he wanted to step down when his hand stopped her _stay for awhile where you are_

She did not know for what but stayed in a place in the meantime doctor went over to his bag and brought something that resembled a flashlight.

Now he came so close to her that he was touching with his legs her knees, she was however the only one in this room who seemed to take notice of it, then he bent slightly over her and she involuntarily flinched back and drew away. Doctor did not offer any comment but backed off to look at her. He gave her a long measured questioning look as though he wanted to ask what you are doing Clarice

She looked at him uncertain and then realized that all he wanted was to check her eyes, to ascertain if she did not sustain some brain injury He could do it only by examining reaction of her pupils to the light, hence his closeness. All of a sudden she felt utterly stupid; he berated herself for behaving like a schoolgirl, sacred of every guy who is closer than meter away. She glanced at him to say I'm sorry but doctor understood and without further delay carried on his examinations. After a few minutes he offered – _No brain injury or other permanent disorders, you will be fine_

_It is a pity, for I'd prefer something different_

_Something different_… he repeated her words by there was a clear question in his tone

_Without severe case of amnesia it won't be easy to forget about everything_

_I'm afraid that with this I will not be able to provide any assistance, but for now try to rest and have some dream we both had a very long day and it is already very late._

Doctor Lecter bowed and with _Good night Clarice _left her to her thoughts.

She thought that she will not be able to find any sleep tonight, but as soon as she snuggled under soft covers and when her head hit pillows she fell asleep soundlessly.

When she opened her eyes the sun was quite high in the sky, the light was filtering in through half drawn curtains, washing linen in different shadows of white, blue and cream. She stood up and came over to the window, to her eyes appeared well kept garden with a fountain, pebbled paths, stone figurines. She thought that it would be nice to sit there, even for a while but then her nostril caught delicious smell of fresh food. Without any further thought she followed her nose, though she was not sure where the kitchen was in that immensely big house it was surprisingly easy to locate it. The smell, sounds of sizzling and boiling intensified with every step she took, at last she found herself in the kitchen, doctor was chopping something but when he sensed her presence he stopped and raised his head

_Good morning Clarice I hope you feel well_

_Morning Doctor Lecter, can I help you with a breakfast_

_No it is almost finished sit down please _

She was sitting at the table while doctor was serving some food, they ate in companionable silence when they finished doctor dubbed corners of his mouth and considered her narrowly. Almost at once she was thrown off balance, his blue comforting eyes to which she had already got accustomed, turned into shreds of ice, sharp piercing through her soul.

_Did you make your calls Clarice_

_Calls? … What calls? _And at that very moment she realized what he meant, he was not sure if she did not call her superiors, Strange but it did not even cross her mind to do so

_No I did not_ – came the instinctive and honest answer, she could see that doctor was thinking for a while, starring as if questioning her truthfulness but then seemed to be satisfied with an answer and the cold stare of his was gone.

_May I ask you why Clarice?_

_I do not know…. _Her eyes dropped down and she refused to look at him.

_Clarice look at me_ his command was absolute and she raised her eyes to him

_Why did not you call your superiors, why did you come to Verger's farm why?_

_I can ask you similar questions – _she shot back

_Ask by all means – _he offered in a cultured tone of a voice

_Why did not you kill me yet? _

_My you are getting bald, can it be that I'm not interested in seeing you dead_

_That is not the answer _she quipped

_I told you my reasons is it so much to ask for yours?_

_Honestly doctor Lecter I do not know my reasons, my mind is in turmoil right now and I cannot decide why I did what I did._

Doctor saved her from further probing, digging and needling and after careful consideration offered

_Maybe I can show you around Clarice, house, garden and then we can spend an afternoon on a terrace or have a dinner in a lovely restaurant_

Clarice was unable to understand this man at all; when she thought that she started to understand him he did something utterly unpredictable. Moment ago they were discussing her motives and all of a sudden he dropped the subject and offered her to spend a lovely day with him

_Something wrong Clarice?_

_No I just can't decide what to do_

_I thought that you had decided when you saved me and did not call police_

_It is not so easy as you might think doctor_

_No one said it was going to be easy Clarice_

_So what I'm supposed to do? _

_Clarice I think that you will not appreciate my advice, besides I would not want to influence you_

_In the barn you knew what to do - _she retorted

_You mean our plan? Did you have any alternative one? Mine worked as far as I recall_

_Worked….worked… _she was practically yelling at him

_Why are you so angry Clarice?_

_I made a fool of myself that is all_

They both knew to what she was referring _I lost control over myself doctor_ _and did what would never normally happen_

_If you see it that way Clarice _he offered nonchalantly as if they were discussing weather forecast then he seemed to reflect as he added we_ can always forget about the whole incident, after all it was single kiss nothing more_

_I think it is a good idea doctor, really good idea, so let's not return to that subject anymore_

_Mum's the word Clarice _with this he did funny gesture as all kids do when they promise to keep something secret. For the first time she laughed in his company, sincere hearty laugh and doctor offered a smile too

_So now we can think about something more enjoyable what about walk now and in the afternoon a dinner_

This friendly, amiable atmosphere they both enjoyed just a moment before now made her feel somewhat nervous, she was not really certain what he expected, what were his plans. After all she did not want to find herself in another awkward situation.

_What is worrying you Clarice?_

_I just… I just need to know where things stand between us_

_Things ?_

_You know what I mean_

_Of course I know, I'm only surprised that you need to ask Clarice, I hope you do not doubt that I can behave like a gentleman in your presence, are you really afraid of me?_

_No I do not have any fear of you_

_But you are still nervous and apprehensive what is it?_

_I do not fear for my life doctor, I know that no bodily harm can come from you_

_You fear of what I might expect of you then_

_Something along these lines doctor_

_Clarice trust me that nothing is going to happen against your will or without your explicit approval, I solemnly promise not to put you in any situation that might cause you any degree of discomfort, deal?_

_Deal! At least for now doctor_

_The moments I can enjoy your company are really precious to me, so let's enjoy them as long as we can, the time will show what we do next._

Clarice was grateful, honestly grateful that he took such an approach, while she was aware that he would never force on her she needed some clarification, now she might look at the whole bizarre situation as a short break from her daily duties, holidays she deserved from a long time

_Yeah this perhaps the best thing we can do for now doctor_

They both smiled at each other reveling in a rare moment of happiness.

_So now I can show you everything around Clarice_

He grasped her hand and led her outside, they walked along paths, talking and enjoying scenery of this lovely place. Every now and then Doctor pointed to something, explaining its origin. She found out for example that his collection of stone figures was brought all the way from Europe and dated back to last century. She noticed at one point that there was also a pool in a garden, golden fish were gleaming in sunlight as if they were made of a pure gold. Doctor was amused by the way she was enchanted by this picture and stored her image in his memory. Then they sat in a shadow of a huge tree, the canopy was so dense that in a case of rain might serve for an umbrella. They had no blanket whatsoever but the grass was dry, cut short so they could sit just on the ground

_Tell me about your family Clarice_

_What would you like to know – _she glanced at him but his eyes were fixed on a distant horizon

_About your childhood_

_You know part of the story doctor_

_Yes but I know the sad part, tell me about those times when you were happy_

She told him about the trips with her father, about the first time she caught a fish but had to let it go because she could not bring herself to gut it, about skipping classes at school, cheating at exams and being caught red handed. Doctor seemed genuinely interested in her stories, asking questions as though he was keen on hearing more and more. No one showed any interest in her life since her father… she reflected but then dismissed it as she did not feel like giving in to self pitying drones.

_And as we discuss your school years what about your first sweet heart Clarice_

_Doctor, please you ask me about sticky fumbling_? She asked flippantly, reminding him of their first conversation down in dungeon

_Baltimore was ages ago, did I hurt you then?_

_No I was more scared than hurt in fact, but back to your question I was twelve and the boy was the son of our neighbors, I was going after him everywhere, I'm not even sure if he liked me, or not but then it did not matter to me_

They both laughed now and were unable to stop it for a few next minutes

_It was a serious thing for me at that time, and what about you doctor?_

_Hmmm _he mused _I have to admit that I started to travel along this road when I was a bit older, fifteen, sixteen maybe I met her at school, and got totally infatuated, after two weeks we spent a night together and after the next two she broke up our relationship_

_Why?_

_I guess I had to be hopeless at that staff _he winked at her know _I hope you know what I mean_

_But you are not… _before she caught herself the word were out, doctor looked at her but did not comment.

_I guess a lot had changed over the next years Clarice _

_How so? _She blurted out

_Ughh Clarice _doctor said in slightly affected tone _you are venturing into a _really_ delicate area_

_Sorry I should not have asked such a question it was thoughtless of me_

_No it was not you're curious and it is a good and healthy thing, I had relationships with many women that's why a lot has changed._

_I know I was reading your file _he raised his elegant eyebrow, and his mouth twitched up

_What is so funny doctor_

_I thought that at least your files do not contain things of that nature_

_Ohhh you are mistaken, there so many stories from your…. Social companions_

_I hope that they are all positive_

_Very… believe me, though I should not tell you about it, it can spoil you_

He was on the verge of asking her about her relationships but refrained, the memory of the kiss their shared came flooding back and reminded him of her inexperience, she was kissing him but her actions were shy, uncertain, jerky it was clear that she did not practice it too frequently or did not have right guys or maybe both. He had suspicious why she was often feeling so self conscious and embarrassed. It was not that she feared him it was something else something entirely else… she has probably never… he looked at her his eyes searching hers as though the answer was right there

After a moment he realized that he can make her feel unease that's why he quickly averted his eyes and sighed inwardly, now he understood her reservations even better

Clarice all of a sudden realized that she had headed too far with her questioning, she blushed and it startled her when he seemed to bask in the sight she presented

_Doctor I'm sorry I should not have asked you about all this, should not have started all that topic_

_Clarice do not beat yourself over it, we are talking like old friends do, that is all, you must learn that in a company of old friends there is not anything forbidden_

B_ut I do not feel comfortable discussing it with you_

_Why Clarice_

_Because…._

_Because you think that I will go for it with you, is that right?\_

_I'm not sure…_

_And I think that you are…_

_No matter what is it doctor I'm not ready for such a leap_

_Do you think that I'm not aware of it? _They talked in riddles but despite it understood themselves better than any time before

_Are you Doctor Lecter?_

_I'm appalled that you need to ask_

_But you do realize that perhaps it might never change_

_Of course but it does not change anything it cannot possibly change anything Clarice_

_You cannot live like that Doctor_

_And you can? Clarice_

_What do you mean by if I can?_

_Clarice we both know that no matter what the following days, weeks, years bring you are not likely to engage with anyone_

_But it does not change anything_

_Likewise it doesn't in my case, now you understand I hope_

Their discussion came to a standstill, for a while they were sitting in a friendly silence, then Doctor with his usual feline grace stood up and helped her to her feet

_Tomorrow I'd like to take you on a scenic tour, there are so many places here that are worth seeing, I'm sure you are going to like them, ….but now how about lunch _he offered lightly and when he smiled at her his sky blue eyes twinkled like real stars. She smiled back.

As they got back Doctor suggested that she might familiarize herself with house layout while he would busy himself with preparing lunch. She gladly accepted his offer as she needed to come to herself after their conversation. That was not to say that their conversation disturbed her but left her feeling emotionally strained and slightly confused. They did not call things but their right and explicit names, but she knew only too well to what he had referred. He meant them together…. But in all the truth she was not prepared to turn her life upside down, it was one thing to pretend having holidays with him (though it was enough surreal) another to come to a life changing decision of staying with him for good. Surely the last thing was what he wished for, he did not say it per se but skirted around the subject leaving her very little room to doubt. It was all giving her heavy headache… but despite herself she had to admit that she could not recall last time when she felt so relaxed, so at peace in his company, it was not only that he was sweet, ready to fulfill all her whims, that he was not pushy even in the least contrary to other men she had dubious pleasure to know, it was something else that she was almost unable to put her finger on, the comfort she felt while being in his company was incomparable to anything else she had ever experienced before. Doctor was unlike any other man she had met, his intelligence, witty remarks and dry sense of humor tasted all like a fine wine, he knew when to leave her for herself, when to withdraw, when and how to chat to keep her entertained. His worldly manners, the way he carried himself oozed almost irresistible charm and sophistication, but first and foremost bespoke that he indeed belonged to another class of people.

She knew from his file that he was a member of so called upper class that he was renowned psychiatrists but she did not know that it could matter at this time and age. It seemed to her that all that fuss with people from the upper classes was highly exaggerated and puffed up, but now she could tell the difference between people from her surrounding and him. Not for the first time she was forced to ask herself how was it that his sophisticated tastes included her but of course was unable to find any suitable answer. In her own eyes she represented average woman, maybe she was a little bit more tenacious and stubborn than others, but certainly not special in any particular way. She could not obviously stand comparison with women he knew in Baltimore. She has never met them personally but saw some of their pictures in his case file; they were all beautiful, rich and seemed to fit his life far more better that she did. With vigorous shake of her head she got rid of these tormenting thoughts, it was no use to dwell on it any longer, after all no good can come from concentrating on ones inadequacies she reasoned with herself.

She rose to her feet and decided to find Doctor and see what he was doing and help him perhaps. Even before she entered kitchen her nostrils flared, catching some delicious smells coming from inside.

_Smells great Doctor _she said perhaps in a too bright and animated tone of voice for he stopped doing what he did and look at her carefully _Maybe I can help you with something?_

_If you like you can take glasses and dishes on the terrace; it is still enough warm to have a lunch there_

_From that I can gather that you would rather I did not touch a food? _She threw one flippant comment

_If it takes your fancy then you are welcome by all means, I only thought..._

_Yeah I know that I do not know a thing about it _she finished for him, though he did not wish to be so blunt

_And do you Clarice?_

_To be honest Doctor it is not up to your standards_

_Can I detect twinges of an inferiority complex my dear, I've never classified you as that type to be honest_

_No but my food was very simple really you know chips, burgers, generally Mc Donald staff_

At that he made a face, as though the very thought of having dinner from fast foods was distatestful for him

_I told you that it's not up to your tastes _she said smiling at him somewhat guiltily.

_It does not make you any less_ he was uncannily quick in picking up her emotions, she thought to be deeply hidden. _But if you happen to suffer from them longer then you will need therapy._

She could not help but burst out laughing when she composed herself sufficiently to speak she asked ironically

_You mean therapy coming from you?_

_Do you doubt my professional skills and qualifications Clarice? _He feigned indignation

_Not at all Doctor Lecter I'm only afraid that I would not be able to afford it_

_I can offer you some discount for old times' sake_

_Really? when I should make an appointment then?_

_Any time Clarice… any time_

Rapid pace banter conversation was hilarious straight from the beginning but the way he said the last sentence, gave clear idea that he meant something else than alleged therapy, she did not however want to give it much thought.

They sat on the wicker chairs in front of each other while Doctor served the lunch, and then poured some of the wine into tall crystal glasses that went immediately milky form condensation; she looked transfixed as the tiny drops of water were slowly making their way down the glass. She felt displaced as if she was from somewhere else, form another totally different world.

_What is on your mind Clarice?_ Doctor inquired subtly

_I feel strange with you here.._

_I can see that you are dwelling on obvious, but since you have done nothing to put me behind the bars again I assumed that you somewhat grew accustomed to my status of fugitive. _

_I do not dwell on your status Doctor, it is something else_

_What is it then? _He asked in a voice of psychiatrist

_Ever the psychiatrist Doctor Lecter?_

_Clarice make an effort and answer my question will you?_

_Displaced I do not belong to this world, to your world_

_What world? _He asked genuinely puzzled

_All this_ she swept with her hand in the direction of a house and garden

_Can you be more specific Clarice _he asked soothingly as if talking to a small child or hurt animal

_It is all so bizarre…. me here in this world of luxury, look at me Doctor we do not belong to the same worlds and neither you nor I can change_

_Absurd my dear it's true that we cannot change our past, no one can but what has come over you to look upon herself in such a light, you are unique Clarice answerable to no one, no place, no man, smart and enough charming to take any one's breath away_

He could say from her reaction that she was not showered with compliments too often, her face burned and although she did not cast her eyes down she averted them not being able to withhold his intense gaze. Doctor seeing that she was uncomfortable saved her from looking for any answer or comment and suggested

_It's getting late, so let's go inside_

Without any word she helped him to clear up table and then to wash dishes, they were sitting in a salon now sipping coffee from the small cups. White armchairs were big enough for two persons. The idea came to her mind but she was a bit afraid to voice it, damn it at least once she might do something without fear of appraisal and constant looking over her shoulder

_Doctor Lecter ? _She asked in a whisper

_Yes_

_May I ask you for something?_

_Anything Clarice_

_Will you sit with me?_

_We are sitting together_

They were indeed sitting in one salon but in two armchairs

_I mean sit with me here _She patted the armchair to show him what she meant.

Without a word Doctor rose and came over to her, when he sat beside her she moved an inch to make some room for him, but despite it there were very close, she could feel the heat radiating from his body and the smell that wafted into her nostrils made her feel dizzy, it , combination of vanilla, cigars, cedar tree and something else uniquely his

Doctor sat down slowly, draping his arm over a back rest, but he maneuvered it in such a way that in part his arm rested over hers, she did not utter a single word neither did Doctor. They were sitting like this for long minutes until she chose to loll her head against his broad chest. She could feel his heart beating steadily and regularly lulling her to sleep, she probably dozed off for a few moments because when she woke up he was still in the same place but his head was pressed to her head and the other arm around her waist. She shifted slightly as if letting him know that she was awoke, he did not lift his head though, but moved it slightly so now there were barely two millimeters apart. The strange yet familiar sensation flooded her senses and all she could think about at this moment were his mouth hovering over hers, tempting but not moving up or down. She was aware that he will not take initiative (mainly because of his promise, not to push her) that's why she chose to take things in her hands and closed the remaining distance. She remembered very well the taste of his lips, but today he felt somewhat differently. He locked his mouth over hers waiting for her reaction, wondering if she was not by any chance going to withdraw. She surprised him when she crushed her lips to his and started moving against him. He found it increasingly hard to restrain himself and returned it, at the beginning slowly, as if examining uncharted territory but then they their passion grew until they both decided to throw caution to the wind. Now they lost all the control, kissing madly, breathing hard, gasping for an air, Doctor pulled her lower lip into his mouth and delicately suck on it, he felt her trembling in his arms, shivering. When he tentatively pushed the tip of his tongue inside of her mouth, it calmed her a bit, but he was absolutely delighted as she answered in kind and tasted him with her own tongue. He was so delicious that all she dreamed about right now was to stay like that forever.

Her hands were wantonly scratching the back of his neck and head but now moved to his chest, her palm rested against his the material of his shirt, a few minutes passed until she realized that she needed more. She grabbed his shirt and then started to fumble with the buttons, meanwhile Doctor's hands were travelling up and down her back; sending delicious shivers throughout her entire body, his mouth now were tasting and kissing her neck. When he noticed her difficulties he chuckled lightly and helped her, by opening the buttons himself and revealing his bare skin, she pressed her hands to his chest, bending over it and whispering soft kisses, she could hear him rumbling and purring like a cat in a response.

She was so overwhelmed that she barely noticed that his hands now travelled under her t – shirt, his touch was soft but firm, his hand rested briefly on her stomach then moved up until stopped just beneath her breast. He looked at her now uttering her name in such a way that it sounded like a hiss _Clariceee _when she did not offer any resistance he moved further cupping her breast, squeezing, teasing through the material of her bra. She was breathless; panting as if she was drowning he sensed it and stopped all his actions, his mouth went to her ear _Clarice breath through your nose_ – he whispered in a husky voice, she obeyed it did not help much but at least she stopped feeling as though she was thrown under the water without an oxygen bottle. As she thought that her escalating emotions could not make her even more breathless he dropped his head to her breast and locked his mouth over it. His tongue was grazing against her nipple, swirling, sucking pulling deeper and deeper into his mouth, she arched her back pushing herself and pressing against him. She was becoming desperate it was too much , too much to bear it any longer she grasped his head in her hands and brought him back to her mouth, when he gave her a questioning look she said _it is too much I can bear it I feel like drowning _he obeyed and embraced her even tighter, passionately kissing her mouth.

They were half lying half sitting, his body was practically over hers, effectively restraining her movements, he held her so close that she could feel him growing hard stone against her skin the bulge in his trousers was pressed to her thigh and she felt becoming wet straining to come in contact with it. _Doctor please … _she whispered at one point begging him for something she was not quite sure of, he looked at her with eyes full of longing and desire; they were like a hot, molten lava. When he did not move she reached down to touch him he hissed as if in pain, she heard his breath hitch in his throat and it encouraged her to be balder and unzip his trousers. She was completely surprised though when his hand landed on hers in a forceful grip and immobilized further actions at least on her part. She looked up asking him with her eyes\

_Clarice_ he uttered not without difficulty _even my control has its limits, and you are teetering very close to them, if we cross some borders I will not be able to hold back, so be very sure what you are doing _

_I'm sure _she offered breathlessly

_Is that what you want? Or you only think you want it?_

_Does that make any difference Doctor?_ She asked distractedly, barely listening while fumbling with his fly

_Huge and stop calling me Doctor in such a moment you know my name_

_I need more time to get used to it_

_And I think that you need more time in other areas too Clarice_

He backed off slightly creating more space and pulling her hands away however they were still pretty close

_Why I do not understand I thought that you wanted it as I want it_

_Your admission Clarice is very precious to me but I think that we move decidedly too fast_

_Too fast for you Doctor?_ She asked incredulously and saw him smile almost laughing at her question

_Too fast for you Clarice that is obvious _

_What makes you think so? _She pressed on

_Clarice it is going to be your first time, we should not hurry things up, you must be very sure of what you're about to do but first and foremost with whom and not to give in to a fleeting moment of passion only to regret it in the morning_

_How do you know? _She choked out her question, not believing her ears what he has just said

_How do I know what Clarice?_

_You said it is going to be my first time how do you know_

_Am I wrong Clarice?_

_I did not say you are wrong I asked you how do you know_

_Clarice I'm much older than you are, I saw, heard and experienced enough in my life not to know when the women I hold in my arms is untouched, it shows in her shyness, lack of control, anxiety,, desperation, unsteady fearful gaze, there are so many signs that I would have to be blind or utterly stupid not to pick them up_

_But it is not true that it was a fleeting moment…_

_Let me remind you my dear that a couple of days ago you were still afraid of me, and my unwelcome advances towards you, I enjoy change of your heart if it is true but I need to be absolutely sure that you will not change your mind again this time afterwards, after all then I won't be able to take time back and give back what I have taken_

_Do not you think that you patronize me I'm not a child and I know what I'm doing_

_Certainly I do not regard you as a child but you are not a grown up woman either_

_You must be joking If I'm not grown up then what I'm_

_Very young woman, confused, not sure of herself, seeking approbation but enough stubborn to stick to her choices_

_You think they are wrong? _

_I did not say it, I think that we should give ourselves some more time to prove it, that is all_

_How much? _She could not help but ask him a question that was waiting at the back of her throat,

_I would not like to qualify it so strictly_ _and give you dates_ – he answered smiling indulgently _When the right time will come we are going to know it, for now let's not be so pushy O.k?_

In that exact moment she experienced an overwhelming feeling of embarrassment, how did it happen that she Clarice Starling asked Doctor Hannibal Lecter to make love to her. Instead of him she was pushy and insistent. If somebody had told her one week ago that she would beg Doctor to….. She would have laughed in their face. What has come over her to behave as she behaved – she kept asking herself in a horror. Doctor seeing her emotional turmoil reached for her hand and raised it to his lips to press soft kiss on her palms

_Clarice do not bother with such emotions, I think we are already beyond feeling self conscious in each other's company, really there is no reason to squander your time and energy on it._

She nodded her head but for a very long moment did not utter any word, Doctor was aware that she needed a bit of time and space to compose herself to speak again when she did she took him by surprise

_You have composure of the rock Doctor_

He did not refer to her statement but asked, catching her off guard

_Clarice tell me one thing moment ago you wanted to make love with me but you are still unable to address me by my given name, I admit that is a bit unusual._

_If you expect answer from me I do not have it though I agree that it sounds a tad strange given what we…_ she was unable to call it by the name, having him in front of her

_So do an effort my dear to remember about calling me by my proper name_

_I'll see what I can do _

_I would be appreciative if you could_ he offered with a gallant nod of his head. Not knowing why his gesture amused her like nothing else, and struck as odd. Exchange of courtly pleasantries like this has always reminded her of chivalry, medieval knights and romantic movies. But she was also aware that Doctor would never do without them and that she had to get accustomed to them as to addressing him by a given name.

It was strange that force of habit was so strong but even in her thought and dreams he has always been Doctor Lecter never Hannibal, to change it all at once was not going to be easy, but she understood that she could not refer to him like that all the time especially in a public.

Meanwhile Doctor was buttoning up his still open shirt and buckled his belt and pants, until he looked again as though nothing transpired in this room. She was observing him silently, following movements of his hands with her eyes; probably she was not even aware of her subconscious reactions as in a certain moment she heard as he said

_Clarice what are you doing? _She was stunned by his question as she did not do anything at all

_What?... I don't understand … I did not do anything Doctor_

In all honesty she did not know what he meant, as through all that time he was straightening his clothes she was not doing anything but looking thoughtlessly.

_Yes you did you were licking you lips, looking like a dog with its bone_

_No I did not; it had to be a figment of your imagination_

_Really Clarice, in a moment you'll diagnose me as an individual who started seeing things, while I admit to a mild case of obsession I doubt that my mind creates images by itself.._

_Does it bother you so much, me looking at you? or maybe you feel shy?_

In that instant Doctor burst out laughing, she loved to listen to his hearty, sincere, unconstrained laughter; something told her that he did not do it often

_You are dead right Clarice and discovered my biggest secret I'm simply anxious that you might ravish me here and now_

_I have never pictured you as an apprehensive type_

_Appearances can be deceiving my dear, but let's call it a day today_

_Yeah we are done.. Good evening Doctor_

With these words she started to climb the stairs, Doctor remained downstairs. When she found herself in her room alone she reflected on a day they spent together. She had to admit it was pretty much eventful; surely they passed over some borders in their bizarre relationship, beyond which was laying a land of which she got today only short but enough intensive taste. In one respect Doctor was right if she was not still sure whether to stay with him or not so how she could make the final step and make love with him. She knew that he wanted her more than anything else in the world, she could feel it on her lips, but he was not a man to be satisfied with a mere half-measures. He would never be content with one night stand, at least not with her, it was evident that what he wanted was forever kind of thing, but until she was not ready for it, he would refuse to take her.

It was strange that, even to her, that she was all too ready to welcome his physical closeness but was still unsure whether she could leave everything behind. It seemed to her that these two elements were laid in two entirely different boxes; however he did not share her view on that score. What surprised her was his impressive self control, one moment he practically burned only to turn into a cool self restrained gentleman a moment later, when she thought that she almost won him over she was brought back to earth that it won't do, he always seemed to be one step ahead – she was slowly getting used to it though it was still a bit disconcerting and frustrating to be so easily read, as though he had X-rays in his blue piercing eyes. Even her most deeply concealed secret came to light in his presence; she was not sure how he managed to guess that she had never done it before but somehow he did. Certainly there were some boys she dated in her life, but every time it came to consumption she backed off, there was always something lacking in them or maybe her expectation were too high as one of her former boyfriend them put it . Doctor was the first man for whom she felt twinges of something she has never experienced before, it was even hard to define what it was exactly, combination of these reactions was both delicious and upsetting as she could hardly recognize in herself old Clarice Starling when it came to that man, after all she has always been self possessed and has never betrayed any signs of desperation she felt now – So what happened with her she kept asking herself until she felt that sleep was slowly taking over…

In the morning even before her eyes fluttered open, and met the harsh brightness of the rising sun, she could sense the presence of somebody else, lying next to her, in her bed, when she opened her still heavy eyelids her eyes landed on somewhat unexpected view, the doctor was lying no more than two feet away propping on one elbow and looking at her with a peculiar mixture of contentment and tenderness. Her mind raced furiously to recall what had exactly happened that they were both here together. She tried to play over the events of their last evening but all she could remember was their short exchange in an armchair, and her being send away to her room, so how did it happen that now they were in one bed she kept asking herself. It was only then that she realized that she was not actually in her room, that it was probably his own bedroom and his bed, she noted also that she was fully dressed and that the doctor was on the duvet while she was under it.

_Doctor what happened?...how… I do not remember anything_ – she asked him in a voice full of bewilderment, betraying her disorientation

_What do you want me to elucidate first_? His voice was composed as ever

_First I would like to know what I'm doing here and how…_ at this exact moment his self possession was starting to get on her nerves

_That is quite simple my dear, you came over for a late visit, we had a glass of wine and then you decided to stay for the rest of the night gracing me with your presence by the same._

_Gracing…. I'm asking for the short answer and all you can do is to rave about gracing..?!_

_I do not understand why you are so upset and thrown off balance; I thought that you knew your actions_

_Actions… what actions? _She could not help asking, becoming more and more agitated with each passing minute and disturbed by such a profound memory lapse.

_Being with me that's all, what do you expect me to say Clarice?_

_Being with you… does that mean that we…_ her voice faltered as though stumbled on some invisible block.

_Why you are so shocked, as far as I remember yesterday you were all to ready to welcome my attention, did I misread the situation by welcoming you in - _the doctor asked in a tone that showed nothing but a cold indifference.

_No but… but I wanted to be at least aware of it doctor, is it so much_

_At least, aware of what Clarice? _This time it was he who asked questions, and the very tone of his voice suggested that perhaps for the first time he was not sure of what had played in her mind

_For you it may not count so much but it is quite different in my case, I thought that we both agreed that it is something more than having a coffee and a piece of cake, it seemed to me that it was you who made a point of it._

_Clarice we just slept together, are you really so coy and old fashioned? _

_Yeah and I 'm taking exactly about it _

_About sleeping or being coy?_

_I mean the first of course, do not mock me doctor – _she said that very softly as if speaking to herself

In that instant the doctor realized the extent of her mortification and anguish and decided not to prolong it any longer, after all he was aware of what she meant and why was she so concerned, though he was surprised that she did not have any awareness of the events of the last night

_Clarice we were sleeping just sleeping if you think I did something more with you than that you are wrong, there was nothing virtually nothing that changed since yesterday. Do you believe me?_

She looked into his eyes and knew simply knew that he was not playing any tricks on her. He was many things but he was not certainly a liar, she could not recall him lying on any occasions, he enjoyed playing with her mind, occasionally mock, drop sneering remarks that cut to the bone but lying was something he obviously loathed and despised.

_Yes I believe you… though I'm still at a loss_ _how I got here_

The doctor ran his sharp eyes over her frame as if trying to assess her condition and answer the question that kept ringing not only in her mind

_Clarice I think there is nothing to worry many people often walk while sleeping, you have been under a lot of strain recently and that might have induced such disconcerting reactions, I'm sure that after some time it will eventually pass, you only need to give yourself some time, trust me._

With these words he reached for her and drew her close enough so that she rested now on his broad chest, his silk button up pajama top felt cold against her cheek, though she could feel comforting warmth emitting from his body, slow rise and fall of his chest soothed her aggravated nerves and brought the peace again.

_Thank you doctor_

_For what?_

_For being as you are_

_As I'm…?_

_Are you fishing for compliments doctor?_

_Not at all, I only wonder this sudden transformation from aggressive to friendly in a matter of mere minutes_

She patted affectionately his chest, and when he rumbled softly in response she shifted slightly and raised her head to look properly at him

_I was not aggressive but disoriented; after all it is not normal to fall asleep in one bed and wake up in another_

_But there is something more to it Clarice; you assumed that we stepped over some lines_

_I'm not going to tell you that I did not think about it, the way I acted yesterday…I mean armchair … might give you an idea that I'm rather willing to take this great leap, I could not have possibly hold anything against you if you took our relationship one step further_

_Clarice I think that you underestimate me… I already told you that it needs some more time._

_I've never thought that I will ever say it but you were right in one thing I acted too rashly too quickly even thoughtlessly, while I can admit to enjoying your company I'm still not ready for crossing this particular line. It is always important point in any relationship particular in as bizarre as ours_

_Bizarre … Clarice why – _He asked innocently, feigning that he could not figure out what she meant.

_Do not tell me doctor that you think of our relationship as something normal and conventional_

_While I acknowledge that it is not conventional I cannot agree that there is anything abnormal about it. After all the attraction between two people of an opposite sex cannot be seen as any form of deviation from normality. _

_Attraction…._

_Can you deny it my dear? _He asked suggestively and his voice was dripping with innuendo this time _Hmmm?_

_It is difficult question, too difficult for now so that do not ask me such questions_

_You are right, though for someone who doesn't feel any attraction you acted quite unusually and reacted decidedly too strongly, at least according to my personal experience_

_Doctor I do not know why I acted and reacted this way, it is absolutely out of my character to behave like that and you know it very well_

_Of course my dear, all the more it proves my point _

_It does not prove anything -_she answered suddenly angered by his last statement.

_Doesn't it? Really?_

_And what is it?_

_There is a bond between us, existence of which you cannot deny, if there was not anything like that then you would have called your superiors days ago and I would have been on a run again._

_Doctor to tell the truth I can put a finger on the nature of our relationship, I have to admit there is something but I cannot name it._

_The passion is the darkest and mighty force that arises from most unexpected circumstances…_

_Considering our lives there should be neither the attraction nor the passion_

_You developed ability to dwell on the obvious my dear, but there are forces we cannot help or control even if the voice of reason tells us so. But we won't resolve our problems here and now so let it be as it is hmmm?_

She smiled at him this time unburdened by any concerns and worries, as much as she was determined to contradict him she could not do it this time, he was right saying that there was some indefinable bond between them. In fact it has been present since the very day they met. There was not a single day when she did not think about him, he was internal part of her own being, never before has she hesitated to dive into her innermost soul in search for answers, but now she experienced strange tugging as if stirring deep down, that prevented her from bringing to light some truths, she was afraid that if she dragged them into glaring daylight she would not be able to return to her former life – life she has been living up to this moment.

The doctor was aware that she needed some more space and conveniently disappeared for the rest of the day, on the pretence of running some of his errands, she did not ask him what, now she was walking around the fabulous garden, that seemed to stretch to the brow of the horizon, peeking here and there discovering a lot of charming details she did not even notice when they were here together, blooming creepers, shady trees, grass cut low, a small wooden summer house covered by the heavy vine grapes, countless winding pebble paths and the rocks waterfalls looming in the distance, white and splashing, lost somewhere among the dense greenery, even from this distance she could catch the sound of roaring water falling down the rocks and then forming the stream meandering down the hills.

She was not sure how long she spent on her silent contemplation but when she became aware of the passing of time the sun was slowly going down illuminating the whole scenery and giving it golden glow. She headed home, quick strides brought her in no time to front doors, she was surprised that the doctor was still absent after a quick inspection of the kitchen and library the places he liked best, she headed down the corridor that led to the part of the house she was still unacquainted with, she was baffled by the fact that she did not notice it before, the light turned on by itself, giving long somewhat narrow hall bright silver radiance. Finally her steps brought her to the place that virtually took her breath away, room all in blue, illuminated by the countless number of tiny halogens, the fancy mosaic floor tiles in a flower pattern, silver, shining fittings and the pool the real swimming pool with a sapphire, gleaming water. She stood aghast for God knows how long, starring at the waxy surface of the water.

Until suddenly a familiar voice from behind made her jump and broke her reverie,

_Clarice…_he inquired softly -_ is something wrong my dear? _

She spun around to face him, and instantly was under the impression that he wasted no time to find her, since he was still wearing a light coat and holding under his arm some papers and hat,

_What… _she asked distractedly as if awaken from the slumber

_I asked if everything is all right you look a little pale_

_I'm O.K but holy shit mouse what is it? _She asked gesturing in the general direction behind her.

The doctor looked instinctively over her shoulder, and then back at her

_Water what else can it be? _He answered in a quite innocent manner, as if there was not anything in sight that might cause her surprise and provoke questions.

_Doctor I can see it is water, I'm not blind or foolish but it is a real swimming pool!_

_It is indeed so what? _He asked with a shrug of his shoulders

_I did not know that you have your own private pool _

_I do not use it too frequently that is why I have forgotten to familiarize you with that particular room _

_You do not use it?! How one cannot use such a luxury_

He smiled indulgently, reveling in her reaction of astonishment, finding it charming and irresistible

_I said that I do not use it too often that is all; I can assure Clarice that most of the houses around are equipped with basic facilities such as these._

_Basic facilities….? In a place where I was born there was no swimming pool within hundreds of miles, even public one to say nothing about privately owned, and you say about basic…_

_Clarice to be honest I cannot comprehend why are you so stunned, you must have seen swimming pools before_

_Of course… but not such as this…_

_It is yours…., you can use it if you only like… anytime_

_Can I have a swim after a supper then?_

_What a strange question my dear, I cannot imagine you will keep asking me about every single thing all the time._

_Sorry for that, I already told you I feel displaced_

…_and I told you that this feeling is the height of absurdity_

He reached for her cheek and delicately stroked it, she did not flinch or back off, so he took her hand and without breaking eye contact lifted it slowly to his lips, placing soft kiss on the palm of her hand, she noted that his lips lingered a little bit too long for a customary kiss but despite herself basked in that short magical moment.

He was however the first who broke the spell and announced…

_But first supper, I 'm starving…_

_I'm hungry too… _the doctor was already on the way to a kitchen when she asked

_Doctor Lecter…._ Her voice was a mere whisper, barely audible

_Yes Clarice- he_ stopped to give her a short look

_Will you come with me; I mean swimming after the supper_ she was not sure why she was so mortified asking him to have a swim with her

_I'm ready to grant your every wish if it is something you want_

_Thank you_

_You are welcome, as always_

Over the supper they talked about their day, she told him about newly discovered places and asked if they can go for a trip to nearby waterfalls or have a picnic there, then she inquired about his errands, he told her that he was still practicing as a doctor but under another identity, and that she had nothing to fear, as there was no criminal activity behind it, it pained him that she still did not trust him, that she was still having agent's fiber deep down inside.

Clarice in that instant realized that her questioning went a bit too far and decided to veer from the uncomfortable conversation, the one she sparked up

_Doctor what about this promised swimming?_

_Did I say that we will not go Clarice_

_No but I have to keep eye on the amount of food you consume, after all I do not want you to drawn_

_I can assure you that I can swim and you will not find yourself under the necessity of doing mouth to mouth _– He winked at her and his eye twinkled in an amusement

_What a relief doctor really, however I have one question anyway where can I find swim suits._

_Do you need it my dear_

She looked at him shocked as if not comprehending anything

_But…. _She stammered, and her breath hitched in a throat, he on the other hand enjoyed the image of her perplexed face

_Clarice if my sense of humor is to give rise coronary then I will have to refrain from it, you will find swimsuits in your wardrobe, lower drawer._

_I will survive it… _we meet in fifteen minutes downstairs then.

As soon as she opened her room she headed to a wardrobe, there was indeed a drawer and in the lower one there were some swimsuits, however in that very moment she realized something that made her cringe inside, they were rather scanty and did not cover much and how are they going to look like in your opinion she asked herself, you are not nun or a schoolgirl. She grasped one, took off her clothes and slipped into soft material of a yellow top and matching bottoms. She looked at her reflection in the mirror, and decided that if his eyes will not pop out they would decidedly if he look at her

Better to take a bathrobe, she concluded after all she did not want him to die of a heart attack.

She wrapped herself in a fluffy bathrobe and started to make her way downstairs, she was almost at the bottom when she noticed that doctor was waiting for her propped in an easy, relaxed manner against the railing post, the sight that met her eyes caught her completely off guard, he was wearing only dark trunks, with a white towel thrown carelessly over his shoulder, to say that he was handsome and looked dashing was certainly understatement, his chest was even broader than she remembered from their short exchange from a few days ago, tiny soft hairs were sprinkled with grey, the tanned arms were muscular and toned so finely that they looked as if they were cut from the real marble, her eyes slowly without any conscious thought traveled downwards then up again.

His eyes were blazing looking at her as she continued unabashed inspection of his body

_Are you done Clarice?_ He could hardly contain his merriment and chuckled softly under his breath

At that instant she expelled the air realizing that she held it far too long, she was sure that he noticed it as his eyes were sparkling like the stars and lips twitched up in a smile, why was she so tense she kept asking herself, why she had to feel so self conscious, so awkward in his presence, he on the other hand was always at ease, his relaxed and easy-going manner was a tad unnerving.

He reached out his hand and grasped hers firmly,

_Take it easy Clarice, I did not wish to cause you any discomfort but since we are going to have a swim it was hard to wear a suit with a tie._

She could not muster enough strength to raise her eyes and look at him, so with the eyes fixed on the floor muttered

_No you did not do anything wrong I just…_

_You have not seen me half naked, that is quite natural._

_Do you think doctor that I react this way to every single man wearing swim trunks? _

_Who said about every man hmm?_

He did not expect neither any answer nor she was willing to provide it, it was better to put it all behind and enjoy a swim she desired for long.

_Doctor can we at last put everything aside and go swimming?_

_I'm ready all the time I only wait for you my dear_

He let her go first as they arrived to the doors he pushed them open and let her precede him, dropping the towel on one of the loungers, he gestured wordlessly towards another one, inviting her to leave on it her stuff, then turned around, came over to the edge of the pool, stretched hands and jump with a splash into the water.

In the meantime Clarice was untying her robe with one smooth move she let it roll off her shoulders, it landed around her feet, two steps and she was at the edge of the pool, likewise him she jumped into the water, only then did she look at him. He was about two meters away swimming, not even looking at her, giving her privacy she needed, the water was wonderful, warmer than she had expected, swimming pools she knew were often cold and crowded that is way she did not like them very much, but this one was marvelous, warm, empty with clear like crystal water, she could spend whole hours here and not having enough.

_Is water to your likings Clarice?_

_It's wonderful _she swam over to him, across the pool then tried to stand on her legs only to realize that water was too deep in that place, she almost lost balance when the doctor gripped her with one hand onto her arm with the other around her waist, before she managed to catch on to his actions, she was firmly pressed against his chest and the length of his legs.

_Careful Clarice, the water is really deep in the middle, you will get the feel of it after one or two times._

She could barely understand his words, she heard him speaking but her mind was somewhere entirely else, she must have made a face or so because he gazed at her quizzically still not loosening his tight embrace,

_Clarice… _His blue like ocean eyes bored in her and seemed to probe to her very soul; she was semi aware that her hands clung onto his arms too, and the rest of her body was pressed against his.

She locked her eyes with him, and in the next moments, not being able to control herself any longer started slowly to close a distance inch by inch until they were barely an inch away. When she pressed her lips to his and closed her eyes, letting herself be lost in that delicious yet familiar sensation, the doctor stood unmoving, for a few seconds there was no reaction from him then he let it go too, applying soft, sweet lip caress, with no tongue, it was she who tasted him first, her tongue moved over his, swirling around his, he did not wait and deepened their kiss, it became so passionate that an instant later she could barely contain herself, the tremor running throughout all her body was making her more and more desperate.

In a feverish heat she flattened her palms against his chest and started running them across his whole torso, taking in the feel of his body with the urgency and need that was surprising even to him.

As he started to nibble her behind the ear, and then going down the neck to her collarbone she arched, pressing her pelvis into his, she felt him hard as a stone against her burning skin, her hips rocked of their own volition, against his and as he roughly pushed her against a cold wall a whimper escaped her mouth, the sound of her low moaning must have inflamed him even more as he thrusted his hips forward forcefully, letting her know that his state of arousal was not the lesser than her own.

His hand then started to wander lower, teasing the top of her bottom; the searing throbbing she felt between her legs was now so insistent that it bordered almost on a pain. _Doctor please…do something she_ whimpered, in a trembling voice begging him to bring a relief.

He seemed to know how to douse that fire, as he purred like a cat and at the same moment his fingers through the barrier of a material located a spot he begun stroking, she moved against his hand trying to increase the friction, trying to bring him even closer if it was at all possible but he drew away slightly whispering _soon Clarice_…

She felt giddy, pushed over the edge her heart skipped a beat and breath started to come in short, ragged gasps and made her feel as though she was drowning, her whole body trembled and when he applied one final stroke she exploded violently, crying incoherently biting his shoulders furiously, wave after wave was coursing throughout her body, until it subsided with his gentle strokes and soft kisses, only then she slumped against him, feeling completely powerless to do or say anything, however when she noticed some blood on his shoulders trickling slowly down his arm she recovered

_I hurt you doctor…._ She touched tenderly vicious mark on his shoulder

_Do not worry it is nothing –_ he assured her

_I did not want to bite you but …. but it was too much _she was still panting and could not bring her breath under the control.

_I hope you do not complain about it_ - he asked in a good humored voice

_No of course not but if it feels like that every time, then…_

_Then what my dear?_

…_.Then I quit – _she answered cheerfully and it provoked his smile too

_Quit?, quit without knowing the full extent of something you have never experienced, really Clarice that is shame, real shame - _he jested

_Up to now doctor, you seem to forget that I got more than a rough idea of how it looks like now_

_I'm afraid my dear that you do not…_

_I do not….Then what was it? _She stammered

_A mere foreplay, do not tell me that you have not notice that we still have not crossed the line_

_All the more it proves my point_

_Your point? – _He raised elegantly one eyebrow and his lips curled into a charming smile

_Point that it's too much_

_My dear I will develop superiority complex if you do not stop to flatter me_

_If it was at all possible doctor_

_Somehow I cannot recall any women who complained about that sort of attentions _

_I'm not complaining but if what we did is nothing as you put it yourself then it is rather hard to imagine what the real thing may feel like_

_Better my dear… much better_

_More intense?_

_Much more…_

_Then it is beyond sane imagination_

_I admit Clarice that you surpassed my wildest dreams too_

_What do you mean?_

_You respond in a very fiery and active way to say the least_

_Now you seem to complain_

_No Clarice make no mistake about it - _he reassured her laughing -_any man can only dream about eliciting such responses from a women he desires._

She blushed hotly and her mouth went dry, he was able to elicit in her all scope of unwanted responses, responses she could bring possibly under the control, what was worse he read her like an open book, and from time to time to he simply chose to bask in moments when she was left utterly speechless. After some moments he caught her wrist, he could feel that her pulse was still elevated, but despite it brought her hand to his lips, placing soft kiss

_I think it is getting a bit cold, let's get outside_ – he suggested and then with one swift movement he reached the edge of the pool and heaved himself up. As soon as he got outside he stretched one of his hands to help her out, she grasped it and felt herself being lifted in the air. His strength was indeed unusual, though fortunately she was never on the receiving end of it. She did not even notice when he took his towel and started patting her dry, hair, arms, shoulders…. In the meantime she stared at him transfixed by the tiny drops of water which in rivulets were making their way down his muscled body.

_Clarice?... _His practically purring voice drew her back to reality.

She did not answer but smiled a little bit nervously, a moment later he acknowledged it by saying

_Clarice I wonder sometimes why are you feeling so uneasy about me, I thought that the moments of a physical closeness between us might help it, but I see there is something more to it… now you are even more uncomfortable – what is it? fear, are you afraid of me?_

_No _her answer was instinctive _of course there is no fear I've never really been afraid of you _

_So what is it?_

_I cannot name it even myself, I feel constantly off balance in your company._

_Will it make you feel better if I say that I lose control with you as well?_

_Somehow it does not show on you_

_I learnt how to control my passions, but it does not mean they are not present there _

_Maybe that is the reason; I'm like an open book whereas you are a walking enigma._

_That is part of the truth, I longed for you such a long time that if I did not learn how to control myself I would go crazy_

_You are suggesting that if I made my mind a couple of years ago, you would not be like that?_

_I'm not implying anything; all I want is to make you aware that there are not any ill intentions on my side, and that you should feel more at ease._

…_Besides doctor I'm treading on the unknown ground, if you know what I mean_

_Of course my dear, but you forget that it is not a brain surgery, and all that nervousness is misplaced. It is more like discovering unknown territory- exciting, intriguing, and enjoyable but never ever to be filled with apprehension – there is no place for it._

_Sometimes one cannot help oneself_

_You are right but if our actions are misdirected and irrational we must fight them as not to trip over them later on. You can't imagine that we take our relationship one step further as we get stuck in such a hopeless point._

_Maybe it would help –_ she offered something that sounded like a rather bold invitation, but she bit her tongue a minute later.

_Maybe yes, maybe not, have you ever thought what would happen if it did not? Do you really think that I torment myself like that for no apparent reasons? _

_I have never pictured you as a masochist type, though I doubt any other man would be concerned about what you are concerned._

_I'm not just any man_

_I know you are unlike any one I meet before_

_Does that mean you were dating with someone?_

_Certainly, but they were all lacking something, that's way we never even approached that line, to say nothing about crossing it. I did not want it; they on the other hand were more than willing._

_Why Clarice?_

_I do not know, I guess I did not feel what was needed, it is perverse that I started to feel it in a company of a man I should not_

_I'm appalled my dear _he feigned indignation, pretending to take an offence

_I'm serious really; look I was meeting with some perfect marriage types sufficiently educated, handsome, with solid job, nice income, what else woman may want to have in her life_

_Do you imply I'm not handsome, uneducated, and that my finances are not comfortable?_

_Do not make me laugh I said sufficiently, which means that by average standards it should have been enough_

_And it was not,_ e_ven before you met me in the most charming place in Baltimore _It was a question though it sounded more like a statement of facts.

_Even before, though this feeling magnified tenfold as we started to have conversations, if we can apply this term to short moments when we had a chance to talk._

_How old were they?_

_Who? _She asked not being sure to whom this they referred

_The boys, men with whom you were romantically involved?_

_It's not that I do not want tell you but why do you need to know it? _

_Out of curiosity_

_Something tells me that your ever present psychiatrist mode kicked in again_

_What's wrong, even if it did?_

_I do not enjoy being analyzed, that's all_

_Who says that I'm going to subject you to any sort of medical analysis, I'm asking, just asking and if you do not feel like giving answer you are free not to do it._

_O.K doctor, usually a couple years older, sometimes my age mates_

_Uhh, that sounds like you had quite a record_

_I doubt I can beat you in this respect_

_I have not even tried to conceal these facts from you, you know all about my past life_

_Touche doctor_

_But back to your problem.._

_What problem?!, I do not have any problems_

_Clarice you have just stated that I'm not the most appropriate person for a woman, so there must be a problem, at least there is in your eyes._

_Is not it obvious doctor that you are not the picture of prince charming?_

_Do not hurt my heart my dear _he joked and she smiled back at him the doctor regarded her thoughtfully as if probing, then asked the most unexpected question.

_Clarice I hope that you do not picture me as your father do you?_

_Are you crazy doctor _she could barely choke out the words, _what has come over you to think about such association, surely I do not consider you as my deceased father, you can imagine I would be doing with him such things._

_Clarice I do not think about your biological father rather a person whom you seek as a guidance, gyroscope, source of security._

_I guess doctor that most of the people around need to have these basic needs satisfied _

_But perhaps you need it in a greater amount,_

_What makes you thinks so? _She asked genuinely puzzled and surprised.

_You lost your dearest and nearest at the very vulnerable age, in fact when you needed them most, then you were left all alone to yourself, having no one to trust or confine… it may all explain why younger guys did not sparkle in you any interest whatsoever, whence your choices._

_So you think that a mere age of men can explain everything away._

_It is one of the factors amongst the maze of others, it is obvious Clarice that you looked in your men for more than just a pretty face, you wanted them smart, witty, well read, educated, humorous, capable of igniting your mind more than your body. Even if someone met half of your expectation, he missed the other half, and you are not one of these easy women who accept everything that life throws at them – that is why when it came to so called consumption stage you did not feel any desire and was saying no._

_And you think doctor that you match this list do not you?_

_Is not it obvious?_

_I have to admit that modesty is not one of these qualities that you did not manage to possess doctor._

_I'm stating bare facts Clarice, facts you are already familiar with_

_And what these facts would be doctor Lecter _she asked conversationally

_Cast your mind back to the first day we met, to yesterday, to today's swimming, do you need any more proofs. Both yesterday and today you were the one, who could not help but take the initiative._

_I can't believe it…., you imply that I did something against your will and imposed myself on you._

_Always so black and white, do I look like a victim Clarice I do not think so, I only wanted to draw your attention to the fact that you are somehow unable to control yourself when we are pretty close, something of which my predecessors, fortunately for me could only dream about._

_I admit that there is something in what you say, but you are not surely personification of all qualities one may look for in a man for the rest of the life._

_Surely I do not boast of having all good qualities or being personification of year ideal type, my record is not unblemished, we both know it , but the life is more surprising than one might assume I guess, that is why we are here together._

_That is the mystery to me as well doctor …mystery I cannot find answers for…_

_You are the mystery to me too Clarice, in an equal measure, believe me…_

He made her feel breathless again; it was funny as he managed to pull it off without any difficulty without even touching her, his soft, low voice like a metallic rasp has always sent shivers throughout her system, but now as she got the real taste of him it affected her even stronger. He was intoxicating and delicious both in his mind and body, and she could not decide which was better and which attracted her more, but was it important? Even if it meant loosing herself she was determined to get what she wanted even if for once. Of course he was adamant, maddeningly intent on resisting her attempts but she had to do something about it.

_I can see Agent Starling that you are plotting something against me; do I have reasons to fear anything?_ His mellifluous and languid voice stopped the train her thoughts.

_Oh no… that is the last thing that should bother you actually_

_What devilish plans are playing on in the mind of yours right now hmm?_

_Why devilish all at once?_

_Your eyes are sparkling wickedly which let me assume that you are up to something_

_Doctor can I stay with you tonight?_

Her bold questions surprised even him; he stood stock still staring at her in an utter puzzlement,

_Clarice do you really think it is a good idea?_

_Is there anything that makes you think it is not?_

_I thought that we talked about it before?_

_Yes I remember something along the lines that I'm not ready in your opinion._

_In my opinion?, does that mean you differ?_

_Do you need to ask?_

_In fact not, but I still stick to opinion that while your body is ready your mind is not _

_Is that not enough doctor?_

_No Clarice, I would like to make love to a woman who wants it with both her body and mind._

_I did not say that my mind finds that idea adverse_

_No it does not but it does not accept its full implication_

_Implication of what doctor?_

_That I will not be able to let you go, so be sure what you are exactly asking for._ His voice sounded like a fair warning.

_I cannot promise you what will happen in the future but I can tell what I feel and want now. Do not deny me doctor…. Let's forget about everything, for just one night, even if it is only to be a brief moment I cannot imagine living my life without knowing how you feel, something tells me that it is true for you as well_

_I'm not going to tell that I do not want you _His eyes were filled with desire but hen to lighten the atmosphere he asked … _and who said something about quitting?_

_I admit that it was as a bit too much at that moment, but I want to know how the rest will feel, do not tell me I'm not ready and that it serves well our relationship._

The doctor did not answer but stood looking at her, observing the emotions that played across her face, he could see that she wanted him as much as he wanted her.

_Doctor you know you will not be able to sleep a wink tonight, neither will I, so do not tell me to spend this night alone please…_

He could not almost believe his eyes and ears his little bird was asking him to take her upstairs and spent this night together. How did she arrive at this point, two weeks ago she looked upon him as a sworn enemy and now she wanted him to break all the borders that still separated them. Could he deny her, could her resist her any longer and control his growing desire to bring their relationship to something he dreamed for so long.

_Clarice… _He whispered seductively, and his purr made her light headed again, she approached him as if being carried by some invisible force, again she touched his chest and felt his muscle ripple in response, caressing his skin with the gentles of strokes she played with his hair, he tolerated her actions gazing down at her, but when her hand moved downward, he grasped her by the wrist. She lifted her confused eyes asking silent question why?

_No yet my love _his deep voice rumbled, _let's not be so quick_

_We have waited long enough…_

_All the more we must enjoy every moment of it_

She smiled and her lips now travelled to his collarbone, likewise him she planted soft kisses tasting him with her tongue, the doctor in the meantime was running his hands up and down her body, inflaming her desire even more. At one moment he raised her chin and pressed his lips to hers so hard that it almost pained. His kiss was so passionate, raw, scorching that it made her feel pushed over the edge, she felt as her knees buckled, giving a way but he sensed it and grasped her so firmly she could barley breath. He was pressed against the length of his body, and again she felt him hardening, familiar yet strange sensation made her undulate her hips pushing them forward, in a response his free travelled to her bottom, he squeezed her and pulled her hard against him, making sure she felt him all, his lips fastened on her jaw and neck. She heard herself whimper as his hand made its way into her panties, touching her bare skin and rhythmically rocking and thrusting against her. She could not stand it anymore and tore her mouths from his; he gave her a puzzled look and then asked _something wrong my dear? _His voice was roughened by the passion, but it did not falter as her own.

_Doctor it is maddening, maybe we can speed things up._

_Clarice let me assure you that I know what I'm doing._

_I thought that you might have forgotten _She teased him

_It has been a while I admit but I'm sure I still remember enough_

With that he resumed his agonizing ministrations that fuelled not only her desire for him but sent her impatience soaring

_Doctor please … _She moaned softly

_You seem awfully impatient my dear_

_I have my reasons _she answered without missing a beat, priding herself on making the doctor look even more surprised. He smiled at her and she felt herself being literally swept off the feet. His strong arms grasped her under knees and under her arms and effortlessly lifted in the air, she put her hand around his neck, pressing her mouth to his silvering temple. She felt gently bump as he carried her up the stairs and stopped shortly on the landing before he kicked his door open. She was again in his bedroom this time aware of her surroundings though the intensity of emotions prevented from taking in everything around.

He deposited her on his bed, looking down at her as if searching for any sign that she changed her mind, however everything that might suggest it was notably absent. He sat on his bed stroking her hair but she pulled him down, seeking his lips like a drowning man. His hands were roaming along her slender body, touching her nipples then moving downwards along her flat stomach, she shivered noticeably as he reached the top of her panties, he raised his head then and looked at her gauging carefully her every emotion, but when she urged him to continue he resumed his activities and slipped them down her legs, his hands then travelled across her hips, down her thigh to her knees, but on the way up his hand slided up inside of her legs. He felt her tremble under his touch, this trembling becoming even more intense as he reached the top of her thighs, he stopped there for a while giving her time to adjust to entirely new sensation, it calmed her a bit, only then he moved his fingers further. But she unconsciously clamped her thighs tightly trapping his hand and restricting all his movements. His melodious voice whispered into her skin _Relax Clarice… just relax. _She felt herself floating on this voice and opened up to him without any reservations.

The moment he touched she felt the jolt of electricity that made her arch her back and toss her head, the doctor was delighted by the sight she presented, even in his wildest dreams he did not picture her like that, reality has indeed surpassed his all expectations, he moved his finger into her depths and she moaned in pleasure, he was moving it up and down until he felt her tense then he withdrew, and moved up, partially covering her with his body, supporting his weight on one of the arms, She glared at him and panted accusingly _Why did you stop?_

_Everything in good time my dear_

Again he took a time to kiss her everywhere he could reach; he felt her whimpering and writhing under him until he felt that his control was heavily strained. _Clarice do you really want it? Are you sure?_

_Stop asking these stupid questions _

_Is that yes_

_Yes … _she managed between heavy gasps

She felt him shift again and changing position a bit _Clarice… _she opened her eyes to look at him _it is going to hurt a little, it always does at a first time_

But she did not listen, intent on getting what she wanted, she felt him at the entrance, as if waiting maybe even hesitating but then with one sharp thrust he pushed himself inside, she gave a small cry of pain and her face for a brief moment contorted in a discomfort.

For a long time he did not move at all, letting her adjust, whispering soothingly in Italian, she could not understand the meaning of the words but his voice brought comfort and the waves of pain started slowly to subside.

It was she who moved first, at first these were small testing movements. He was holding himself in check all the time but when he felt her to move more boldly he withdrew all his length and applied long forceful thrust, it squeezed the breath out of her lungs but she did not offer any objections and moved against him with equal aggression. He felt himself losing all the control, he knew that he should have been gentle, that it was her first time but he could not and she did not seem to mind. She felt herself soaring higher and higher until her muscles seemed to dissolve and then to contract, everything that followed became a hazy blur, which swallowed all the sensations around.

When she recovered from this self induced state she was laying half atop of him, being partly covered but the heavy blanket, her eyes fluttered open and she raised her head to look at him. His hand was stroking gently her side, massaging, drawing circles, she felt her muscles still twitch and convulse and was sure that he felt it too. _Shhh Clarice… _his voice came out almost as a purr. She was laying on him, gazing with languid eyes. _Are you O.K Clarice?_ She only nodded still unable to talk. _I hope I did not hurt you? _

_No, of course not doctor _

_I believe I was too hard for you, I simply got carried away_

_We doctor … and you were wonderful in fact_

He smiled at her then asked _Do you still feel the pain?_

_No why?_

_Nothing at all?_

_A bit sore but I would not say it is a pain doctor_

_Doctor?... after everything that transpired between me and you here_

_I still find it hard to get accustomed to your given name_

_You said it before…_

_When? _She asked - the curiosity got better of her

_When you were crying… _

_Crying…. _She repeated after him, trying to recall these delicious moment from moments ago, however her memory failed to remember this exact moment.

_My dear I can only hope that you are aware of what has happened here, if not …_

_Doctor do not make me laugh please, _

_If you can recall your actions then I have reasons to fear that I might have taken advantage of you and I'd hate nothing more than to think that I imposed myself on you._

_I can accuse you of everything but surely of not taking me against my will._

_I'm glad, a man can never be too sure._

_Apprehensive doctor? … you of all people?… I cannot believe it_

_I would not like you to resent the events of tonight_

_You must have gone of your mind, I have never felt so wonderfully and you imply regrets_

_I do not imply them but women often come to resent what they did in a fleeting moments of passion, especially if it is their first time_

_I'm not one of them; I loved every moment of it, and could not imagine giving myself to anyone else but you. Though I'm bit exhausted…._

_We both got carried away_

_Exactly doctor, I noticed that your legendary control cracked somewhere along the way_

_You of all people have that effect on me my dear…_


End file.
